Hi! My name is Caitilin Cagney. I was born in October, 1946, and I'm married to Brendan Hurley. Brendan and I met about 1990, lost touch after a rather interesting friendship, and were thrown solidly back together about 3 years later by an act of god or whomever.
We are soulmates in, what I consider, the ancient interpretation of the word--i.e. When we initially created duality, which manifested in ourselves as male and female, each complete soul split into two parts--of the same original soul. One half manifested as female--carrying the traits we generally associate with female-ness; the other as male--obviously, carrying the traits of the original soul associated with male-ness.
Duality is not a natural phenomenon. It appears to exist as a consequence of man, attempting to organize and define what he perceives as reality. Everything that exists is real. Everything that exists, exists as a continuum--not as opposites. Opposites are a convenient and misleading interpretation of All That Is, probably stemming from early man's perception of extreme differences in what he saw in his environment. An example of this is hot and cold. Temperature is easily experienced by man. But temperature contains no opposites. It is a continuum--from what we perceive as hot to what we perceive as cold. But, in trying to organize our perceptions of temperature, we, simplistically, refer to hot and cold as opposites.
Much of our obsession with opposites probably arrises from our earliest discoveries in the field of mathematics. Mathematics is a useful tool in dealing with a lot of theoretical data--observations we made, early on. Some construct had to be created to help us understand such basic concepts as: "How many?" (people, animals, plants, etc.) and, : "How much?" (temperature, water, wind, wealth), "When?" and "Why?" I wish I had more space to continue this discussion, but this isn't a class in metaphysics. I have to assume that there will be those of you who, by the nature of your own thoughts and being, will identify with what I'm saying--hopefully, even have a deeper grasp of the concept than I am able to give you. That is, really, all that anyone can hope for! I would love to hear from anyone who would like to discuss this with me! I still have a lot to un-learn!
Though our system of mathmatics has been useful to us, there exist cultures who do not use it. You will find that these (often viewed, today, as more primitive than us) cultures also do not adhere to the concept of opposites. I believe this frees their minds to see a deeper, richer version of reality--something that *civilized* man would benefit tremendously from attempting to understand. A real thing can have no opposite. What is the opposite of "dog", of "apple"? What is, really, the opposite of "love"?
The type of relationship which Brendan and I have is not always a gret deal of fun, particularly initially. It's not like relating to someone who is similar to you; but being in--and staying in--the relationship eventually produces real change in both partners. When Brendan and I began our relationship we were like black mirrors of the other, because each of us carried all the traits of the original complete soul which the other did not carry. Some cultures and individuals have believed, over the aeons, that the very purpose of life is to find your other half, bond with it and become whole again, eliminating the artificial duality.
Now, we are not completely different--but I have no visual analogy that feels right. We are simply, bonded--frustration, comfort, selfishness, selflessness, individual neuroses, individual clarity and love--all and more. I learn to verbalize this relationship after the fact--after we have grown, together--always together--superficial appearances notwithstanding. It's good --very good-- for us. We both know that. We have found a tenderness and caring for each other that neither of us could have predicted, early on. And once we slowed down our kicking and screaming, it was easier to see that we had always been kicking and screaming at our individual selves. Our relationship, now, is more comfortable--more trusting and relaxed. Its purpose is clear, to both of us, and we respect and honor that purpose and each other! (Oh well, I tried!--I realize this can be-- difficult.) But it's real and part of Me. So, it's here, too.
I have no desire to project an image of myself on these pages that I don't consider genuine. That would be stupid and a complete waste of my time--and yours. I thrive on genuine emotional, spiritual, psychic energy, and the sharing thereof, in my life. My astrological identity makes some sense of this intensity and openness. I am an October Scorpio--sun, moon and three planets--all in Scorpio. I have learned, the hard way, that my openness must be tempered with caution. Many people are not open enough to re-thinking their original, black and white version of reality. (Sometimes I wonder if this phenomenon can be tied to "color- blindness", as most individuals who suffer from this mild *disability* are *male*, and I have found that *women* tend to be more open to redefinition of almost anything, and "color-blindness" may be a very simple example of an inablity to view the world in its entirety--the complete continuum of what appear to us as colors--but are not as simple as they appear. We see what the construct of our eyes allows us to see, but we have discovered that there are wave lengths of light which or eyes simply cannot find or see. Also, colors of light and colors of pigment appear as an opposite--while light containing all colors and white pigment, containing what appears to be no color. (Black pigment *contains* all colors--black *light* contains none.) Complicated? Not really! Just difficult to explain.
This picture of me was taken on the occasion of an interactive theater night--when the audience is encouraged to dress similarly to the theme of the play. It's kind of a joke! I'm a gun-moll from the 20's. We will be adding other pictures as soon as my husband can find the time to scan them.
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